sample research paper

For some reason, I thought this paper was going to be a really good example of how a research paper should be written and when we were told that we needed to go through it and find out what's wrong with it I thought that it would be difficult to do so.
Anyway, I think that the two most important things that need some work in the paper is organization/structure and transitions. I was always taught in my English class junior year of high school (and it's helped me with the rest of my papers) that a paragraph should be organized with 1. a topic sentence, 2. a sentence describing Point #1 and then a sub-point with an example.
It would look like this:
1. Topic Sentence
2. Point Sentence
Sub point A
Example 1
Sub Point B
Example 2
etc. etc...

I knew what the author of the paper wanted to get across and he knew what he wanted to get across obviously because there was a lot of research done (one of the aspects of the paper that I liked) but it seemed to be all over the place. Also, when you mention a name such as EPA or government officials, in order for the reader to know who is who, a short, brief description of the person would be effective (even if it's a footnote). If there was structure to the paragraph, the author could have plugged in his examples, including quotes to support the points he wanted to be supported with outside information. This way people would have been able to understand what the author was getting at without having to go back to previous paragraphs.

Another thing that needed work were the transitions. I felt that the paper would have flowed better if the last sentence of a paragraph and the first sentence of the next paragraph were somewhat connected - doing so would allow the reader how the paragraphs connect and what they have to do with one another.The author could have used transition words or phrases.

I mentioned that I liked how the author did have a variety of different types of research, I also liked how there was a passive voice- it showed that the author of the paper was concerned with the topic he was writing about.