Sample Research Paper Critique

Parts that Work Well: - The author uses a lot of evidence, and for the most part, uses it very well. For example, on page three, they use evidence from a professor of atmospheric sciences, and the E.P.A. to back up the claims of the toxic chemicals and compounds that were in the air after 9/11. Using evidence from wel known and credible sources like the E.P.A. and information from scholars on the specific subject you are talking about can really help back up your claims.

- I really liked the part on page 4 where the author uses the example about the government always hiding any negative claims by "...adding reassuring comments to the end of each unpleasant sentence in their releases..." This part is very effective because it is very simply and well written, easily getting the point across to the reader.

Parts that did NOT work well: -Where is the thesis? There definitely is not one in the introduction paragraph, (which is way too long) and I could not find a solid thesis throughout the rest of the paper. There is no argument in this paper, there are a lot of facts, and the author proves their point that the E.P.A. screwed up with the cleanup after 9/11, but there is no argumentative thesis. The author needed to add an argumentative part to the essay, as it is, it's a good documentation of the incidents surrounding the cleanup of the NY financial district after 9/11, but the author does not go beyond that.

-The author used a lot of emotional appeals in the essay which I thought were out of place and distracted from the argument. Obviously, in an essay about 9/11, it would be hard not to let your emotions slip into it. I just do not think that the emotional style of writing used in the paper worked well mixed in with the large amount of scientific data, mixing the two genres of emotional writing and scientific research does not work well in this essay.