open letter to parents who leash their children

Within no time your child will be strutting down the street with the hippest of new accesories. Simply train your toddler as early as nine weeks, teaching them basic commands such as "sit" and "stay." Reward, reward, reward, every time you're child doesn't scream at a passing toddler, or try to pull themselves loose of your tight grip on the leash. Give them a fruit rollup or handful of cheerios to praise their good behavior. Soon enough without having to even mouth the commancd, the simple jingle of the leash will have them sitting by the door ecstatic waiting for oyu to take them on a walk. 

any feedback or suggestions for other things i could talk about?..